Because sometimes you get to write translations like the following and include them in your papers:
...'hi mores! penemque arcanaque lumbi
runcantem populo marcentis pandere uuluas.
tum, cum maxillis balanatum gausape pectas,
inguinibus quare detonsus gurgulio extat?
quinque palaestritae licet haec plantaria uellant
elixasque nates labefactent forcipe adunca,
non tamen ista filix ullo mansuescit aratro.'
..."People today! Mowing their dicks and the secret parts
of their asses, spreading their drooping flaps in everyone's face!
Hey, why does your chin sport a perfumed beard for you to comb,
but your groin has a naked little weevil sticking out of it?
Let five trained wrestlers go plucking at that garden plot,
steaming your ass cheeks and smoothing them with hooked forceps--
no way that fern patch is getting tamed from any amount of plowing."
(Persius 4.35-41)
...'hi mores! penemque arcanaque lumbi
runcantem populo marcentis pandere uuluas.
tum, cum maxillis balanatum gausape pectas,
inguinibus quare detonsus gurgulio extat?
quinque palaestritae licet haec plantaria uellant
elixasque nates labefactent forcipe adunca,
non tamen ista filix ullo mansuescit aratro.'
..."People today! Mowing their dicks and the secret parts
of their asses, spreading their drooping flaps in everyone's face!
Hey, why does your chin sport a perfumed beard for you to comb,
but your groin has a naked little weevil sticking out of it?
Let five trained wrestlers go plucking at that garden plot,
steaming your ass cheeks and smoothing them with hooked forceps--
no way that fern patch is getting tamed from any amount of plowing."
(Persius 4.35-41)
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