I know that you've always known of my rockability, but as of yesterday I have surpassed myself in rockatude. I now rock with such an edge I've cut myself 7 times while typing this. What has caused my rockage to go to the next level? Cheese. That's right people, once again dairy has saved the day. I came up with the best cheese course the world has ever known. It is now the cheese plate for the Ritz-Carlton dining room chef tasting menu and veg tasting menu.
In the past I've had ideas, but the sous chef has always thwarted me. She'll say that she likes something, but when she, chef and I are all together she'll put it down in front of him. I've spoken to a couple of the guys at work, and she does this to them also. Is there anything more annoying than a thwarter?
Back to the cheese. Take a roasted plum, some vinegar, some more plum, some mascarpone, a little fruit and nut bread and you have the beginning of a good plate. Then you add the star. The Maya Angelou of the cheese world. That's right people. I'm talking about Mad River Roll g*** cheese from Cypress Grove Creamery in California. When you first look at it you think "oh, this is a log of cheese" but you're so wrong. This is the reason why human beings eat cheese. It has a beautiful rind, an oozy inner layer and a creamy center. I can see you now. You think it's nothing special. It's just cheese. When ripened to perfection and tempered properly it's like buying a hooker to satisfy your taste buds. Not a common $10 streetwalker though. I'm talking about the type of hooker you buy for a night, but your cravings for her get so out of hand that you end up moving her into an apartment downtown, away from your normal life, hidden from the world for only you to savor. Where was I?
Ah yes. The cheese. It's as though every God that ever was, or ever will be had a hand in crafting this cheese. Was it fate that I found this cheese? Divine Intervention? Who knows? How can one explain the forces of nature that bring you to your one true love?
Some of you might be thinking "MoM has lost her mind. She's sleep deprived. She has to go to the dentist in 10 hours. She just farted. It's just cheese how exciting can it be." True, true, true, true and FALSE! You can go to hell. Don't ever speak negatively about the cheese. Anyone who can't understand my love for the cheese, and how flippin'-flappin' happy I am about this dish can go to South Dakota in January.
In the past I've had ideas, but the sous chef has always thwarted me. She'll say that she likes something, but when she, chef and I are all together she'll put it down in front of him. I've spoken to a couple of the guys at work, and she does this to them also. Is there anything more annoying than a thwarter?
Back to the cheese. Take a roasted plum, some vinegar, some more plum, some mascarpone, a little fruit and nut bread and you have the beginning of a good plate. Then you add the star. The Maya Angelou of the cheese world. That's right people. I'm talking about Mad River Roll g*** cheese from Cypress Grove Creamery in California. When you first look at it you think "oh, this is a log of cheese" but you're so wrong. This is the reason why human beings eat cheese. It has a beautiful rind, an oozy inner layer and a creamy center. I can see you now. You think it's nothing special. It's just cheese. When ripened to perfection and tempered properly it's like buying a hooker to satisfy your taste buds. Not a common $10 streetwalker though. I'm talking about the type of hooker you buy for a night, but your cravings for her get so out of hand that you end up moving her into an apartment downtown, away from your normal life, hidden from the world for only you to savor. Where was I?
Ah yes. The cheese. It's as though every God that ever was, or ever will be had a hand in crafting this cheese. Was it fate that I found this cheese? Divine Intervention? Who knows? How can one explain the forces of nature that bring you to your one true love?
Some of you might be thinking "MoM has lost her mind. She's sleep deprived. She has to go to the dentist in 10 hours. She just farted. It's just cheese how exciting can it be." True, true, true, true and FALSE! You can go to hell. Don't ever speak negatively about the cheese. Anyone who can't understand my love for the cheese, and how flippin'-flappin' happy I am about this dish can go to South Dakota in January.
Comments